The dark can get very dark and lonely. The dark can convince you of things that you are not. I get stuck in the darkness more times than I want to admit these days. My days are full of changing diapers x2, feeding 4 littles about 20x a day, running errands, picking up toys, doing the endless dishes that seem to come out of nowhere, trying to get permanent marker out of my couch, stepping on toys, closing doors, vacuuming up the endless amounts of crumbs on my floor, giving them their monthly baths ;), and then repeat day after day. This time of my life can be very lonely and exhausting. And in those dark moments of my days, when I feel like I am failing at this mothering & life thing, I just want to give up. This isn’t a statement that I say lightly but a statement that has so much weight and truth to it, a statement I want to bring life and light to. As I begin gripping the frayed piece of thread that is holding my life together, I ask “What’s the point?”
That little voice comes into my mind and casually whispers those lies to me. “You are an awful mother”, “those kids would be better off with out you” ….etc. You can imagine the other lies floating around in there. Many times I give in to these lies and spend most of my day believing what the enemy is saying to me. I get stuck in this deep dark hole, unable to get out and falling deeper and deeper and I start to settle into this state of depression and despair.
There is a scene in Cars 3 (spoiler alert) that helps me understand these spiritual attacks better. Lightning McQueen realizes his time competing is over and he calls Cruz, his young trainer, to take his place on the track and begin her lifelong dream of racing. She immediately joins the male dominant group of racers and begins passing each car one by one until she is five or so cars back from the lead, Storm. Storm is a hotheaded rookie that thinks he owns the track. He falls back and begins trash talking Cruz, telling her she doesn’t belong and that she needs to leave because she is never going to win anyway. Cruz begins to fall back and the cars she once passed begin passing her. McQueen quickly gets on the radio after hearing everything Storm just said.(I’m paraphrasing here) “Do you see what just happened there?” he asked Cruz. “yes, I don’t belong here”, she begins to say as she believes everything Storm just spoke to here. “NO! He noticed you. He is scared of you! Why else would he back off to talk trash to you if he wasn’t worried you would beat him?” Her confidence builds and she catches up with Storm and begins boasting about her talent. He crashes her between the wall and himself and yells “You do not belong here!” Her reply, “YES I DO!” as she flips over his car and wins the race.
This scene plays over in my head many times when I am immersed in the darkness and attacks. Many times the enemy begins to attack when God is about to do something in my life or I am about to reach a new level of closeness with Him. I begin to feel as though I don’t belong and I need to give up. I begin thinking I am unworthy and undeserving. To get out of these attacks quicker we must understand our attacker. We must understand that he is attacking because he is worried, scared and angry that we may accomplish God’s will and plan for our life. He is paying attention because you are significant, you are worthy and you have the ability to change the world. When we see his tactics for what they are we can throw on the armor of God and win this race God has marked out for us.
“Put on the whole armor of God , that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil” Ephesians 6:11
One of the pieces of armor that will stop the enemy in his tracks is declaring the holy word of God. Speak His promises and truths out loud. The enemy can’t read your mind so you must say them out loud. When we do this the enemy loses his power over us. We are worthy! We are significant! We are loved! God has a plan for our lives, that is designed to prosper us! God is our protector! God is our provider! God is our savior! God will fight for us! Keep the faith always and never lose hope in what God has for your life. Don’t get stuck in that hole, get out as quick as you can. And when times get tough, and you begin to ask yourself “what’s the point” know this truth, there is a point. There is a big point. You must not give up or you won’t see that point, it’s good I promise. Hold on my friend, keep fighting, and know that you’re gonna be ok.
Listen to this.